In Judaism, everything is paired. There’s joy and sorrow, life and death, health and sickness. These pairings provide a worldview that can never be all joy nor all despairing. That’s a good thing. It relieves us of having to long for Disneyland experiences every day, and it disables us from having to feel stuck in a rut.

The best example comes from King Solomon in the wisdom story about a ring inscribed with the words, “Gam zeh ya’avor,” or this too shall pass. The story began with a king’s hope for a permanent source of joy. While every person came to the king with what they thought would bring him permanent joy, they all failed miserably. Success finally came from Solomon, who brought a ring inscribed with these words, “Gam zeh ya’avor,” this too shall pass. How does it work? In times of sorrow, the ring reads, “This too shall pass.” Immediately, the ring’s message provides hope and optimism. In times of joy, the same message deepens gratitude and prolongs awareness of that joy.

Does this mean that there’s never a time when life is only joy? That’s right. But don’t be disappointed. Judaism was never about the pursuit of permanent happiness and joy. How could it be? The history of Judaism and our collective memories reveal that we endure, not because we’ve always been happy, but because we’ve always been in pursuit of something greater than happiness. Judaism is, after all, the pursuit of meaning. In times of sorrow, we can learn from sorrow. We can find hope and optimism that lifts us out of our misery to find reasons to live, again! The result is that we learn from the experience and count it among the many life lessons that provide us meaning as we grow older. In times of joy, we can learn that it’s fleeting, most of the time. But if we savor it and feel grateful for it in our lives, then meaning endures and reminds us that joy is sweet even if it isn’t permanent.

The pursuit of meaning is not for impetuous persons or adolescent minds. The pursuit of meaning is not for ungrateful louts or self-centered adults. The pursuit of meaning is for those who know that life can hurt and that it still remains our obligation to “Choose life!” (Deuteronomy 30), at every turn. When we do find meaning, we can more easily lower our shoulders, slow down our pace, and take a deep breath filled with awe. The life we’re living, whether we’re rich or poor, young or old, tall or short, wise or simple, is worth every breath and effort as long as there’s meaning. Is there ever a time without meaning? There is never a time without meaning.

I admit that there are times that don’t make sense and there are times that feel unfair. But even those times can be examined for meaning hidden in the crevices of those experiences. If we’re fortunate to find them, then we can grow from them. If we fail to find them, then we didn’t look long or hard enough. Don’t give up. Sometimes the best lessons come from the longest searches and the deepest experiences.
This past summer, when I visited my mother on her 88th birthday, the family who were there recited for her what she taught all of us years ago:

“Happiness is a fantasy illusion that denies the constraints imposed upon us by living.”
– Joyce Lyon

It’s not happiness, alone, but mostly meaning that has provided my mother and people like her the satisfaction of saying that each day can be a blessing. May your days be blessings, too, because in them you found meaning.

L’Shalom,