The prophet Isaiah said, “Comfort, oh comfort My people, says the Eternal One” (40:1). Though these words are recited during the haftarot of consolation between Tish B’Av and Rosh Hashanah, they echo in my mind this week. Passover ended but the Exodus continues with hope we carry with us for some peace at our destination. Meanwhile, we struggle with a world that never fails to struggle with us. If it were only the world that struggled with us, Dayenu; but it isn’t just the world, it’s also, and increasingly, we who struggle with each other, to which we say, Day k’var, enough already.

The relationship between Israel and North American Jews, particularly in America, is growing more fraught. It’s the topic of various blogs and newsletters because we never seem to have enough to dray over, to churn about. Rather than talk about what’s obvious, namely, we’ll always have issues between us, we should be affirming the relationship we have and make the most of it.

In Genesis 2:18, the Eternal One said that we should not be alone and created an ezer k’negdo, a helpmate or fitting helper, depending on the translation. Both are bad translations because there’s something about the intended relationship to be learned from each Hebrew word.

An ezer is a helper. In the relationship, it obligates us to be each other’s unconditional lover and supporter. To whom would we bring our nachas, our greatest joys, except to each other? To whom would we brag about our people’s keen intellect, ingenuity, and resilience? Only Jews want to hear how Israel and the Jews discover lifesaving medicines and therapies in laboratories, how pills we swallow can take pictures of our internal organs for lifesaving treatments, or how our cell phones, roadmaps, and military know-how come from yiddishe kups, brilliant Jewish minds.

K’negdo means to stand against or parallel to the other. There are times when we won’t agree. We’ll challenge each other about different ways to achieve the same goal. More than just turning right or going straight on the road, the challenge is often about a major dilemma the whole world will come to rely on, supposedly. The truth is that when the discussion is productive it produces a better outcome than if we agreed with each other all the time. Sharpening our ideas with finer ideas, pointed facts, and clearer ways can even mean the difference between war and peace.

The medieval commentator, Ibn Ezra explains, citing Ecclesiastes 4:9ff, “Two are better than one…[and] if one attacks, two can stand up to him. A three-fold cord is not readily broken.” And a modern commentary on Genesis 2:18 adds that an ezer k’negdo can mean a helpful counterpart (cf. A Women’s Torah Commentary, CCAR Press).

The relationship between Israel and American Jews is not at risk because of our disagreements; it’s at risk because we stopped listening to each other long enough to be helpful counterparts. Israel is essential to our lives as Jews, no matter what one thinks about Israel. And America is essential to the lives of Jews in Israel, no matter what one thinks about America. Israelis might call my home the diaspora, but I don’t accept that description. Jews should be at home everywhere in the world—that’s what Israel has made possible for us. Further, where we are at home makes Israel safer and better able to fulfill its eternal promise to our people.

We are one people with many sides. We are ezer k’negdo, helpful counterparts who have to hear each other, wrestle with each other, and emerge stronger and wiser, together. What these times have revealed is that we’re wasting our time on anything less than what’s essential to Israel and America, and more worrying is that time might be running out. Day k’var, enough already. Let’s resolve to stand together for peace.

L’Shalom,